The Cloverfield Paradox

Weak in forced-diverse casting, cartoonish in score, brutally acted, oversaturated in (shockingly cheap-looking) visuals + sets, & disappointing in final (Alien/2001-ripped off) attempt to resolve the wildly-problematic Cloverfield franchise. 2.5/10.

Orbiting above an Earth on the brink of catastrophic energy wars, scientists test a dangerous device that could provide unlimited power but also runs the risk of creating a terrifying paradox, leaving them face-to-face with a dark alternate reality.

*Possible spoilers ahead*

Review: Gosh, every time I watch a Cloverfield movie it hurts more and more. The original was brilliant, innovative, and one of the most different sci-fi/thriller found-footage horror/kaiju genre-mash-ups I’d ever seen, but they need to put this franchise to bed once and for all instead of continually sullying its once-golden name with these tired and insultingly-unfocused, unrelated sequels it’s better to just imagine your own ending/origin than watch. Absolutely weak in forced-diverse casting and brutal acting, the film is doomed from the start with a cast full of unknowns seemingly in their first-ever movie you have to wonder how they possibly got this big a role outside nepotism – and shakily squandered it with not a memorable (or decent) performance to be found. I am all for diversity in cast and encourage the idea as a minority myself, but for the love of all things good, the people cast have to DESERVE to be there and not just be handed out roles this big just because of their race off a checklist (even more insulting if you ask me). The score and overall-tone is cartoonish and confused for its genre/premise, the visuals are oversaturated, the sets looking like some Alien fan film’s, the CGI shockingly cheap-looking for this big a blockbuster budget, and the script horrifically executed borrowing any shred of decency in sci-fi/horror hi-jinx from Alien/2001 (stranded in space, paranoia/chaos from within, ship working against them, eyeball-moving, even a pseudo-chestburster..) and, once again, having absolutely nothing substantial to add or explain to the Cloverfield franchise. I will give it at least one point for the ending shot and at least mentioning the events of the first movie (albeit passively) and a couple of decent space shots. But the film is so absolutely awful, plot-braindead, insultingly-stock full of sci-fi clichés, visually-headache-y, and confused in genre unable to definitively pick a lane to stay in, I have no choice but to award it the distinction of worst sci-fi movie I may have seen this millennium, and one that has turned the Cloverfield franchise from brilliant and overflowing past the brim with potential levels mirroring even greats like Alien and Godzilla into an absolute joke that kills the name every time a new one is released. I apologize Cloverfield Lane, I thought you were a bait-and-switch but you were nothing compared to this (and, just realized, this film never even mentioned at all the ending of Lane or Houston.. Who is running this scattered franchise with 3 different threads running/unresolved?). PLEASE, if you have any humanity left, stop the madness and end this series once and for all so we can start healing.

Overall Rating: 2.5/10